Desert Billy lives in what was known as the Colorado Desert, the old name for that low scrub land sandwiched between three deserts—the Sonoran of southwestern Arizona, El Gran Desierto del Pinacate of northwestern Mexico, and the Mohave of southeastern California. The Grand Mexican Desert—El Gran Desierto—has been noted by some as the hottest desert on earth, its only competition the Sahara. Is that about right, Desert Billy?

"Yup. Ol' Desert Billy ain't many miles from Old Mexico as the crow flies. But that ain't the half of it, Greenhorn."

Entrance to Palm Canyon


Tell me more, Desert Billy.

"It gets hotter 'n a ten dollar pistol here pardner. The temperature creeps up past 100° by mid-May, and our typical daytime scorcher from June through August makes 110-115°—and that's every day, son. It don't cool down under 100° til late September, either. I seen it go as high as 128° just a couple a years ago. We was a cookin' that day—yee-ow—we was! And with only two inches of rain each year, there ain't much vegetation around, dude."

"But there's ample wildlife in this fiery hole, you can bank on that. We got wild pig, desert big-horn, mountain lion, coyote, and bobcat. And a scatterin' a desert mule deer too. Several varieties of poisonous snakes in large quantities, a million lizards, scorpions and tarantulas, and a few birds about rounds it out. A veritable paradise at the gates of Hell, it is! But the most dangerous critters about these parts is them two-legged kind. As I says to visitors, "You is 20 miles from water, pardner, but only 2 feet from Hell! Don't you be a stealin' from Desert Billy's Waterin' Hole!!!"

Natural Palm

So where is this waterin' hole, Desert Billy?

"Well, ya head north from where the Colorado River empties into Old Mexico. When ya cross the Chocolate Mountains, look for a big dry wash runnin' south to north. Get on down in that wash and foller it another 20 miles or so. Soon you gonna come across a big wide bend next to a rock face with indian writin' on it. You is mighty close then. I'll be watchin' fer ya. But you be watchin' fer them sidewinders. I don't need to be buryin' no more gringos."

"Head up the canyon trail about 30 minutes—watch out fer them prickly pear—then take the third side canyon to the left. About ten minutes up the narrow trail you gonna see two big boulders. Throw your rope (ya did bring the rope didn't ya, Greenhorn?) over the top one and pull yerself up and over. Now wriggle straight up between them two rock faces. At the top you'll see the purrtiest natural-grown palm God ever made. Just above and behind that palm is the tank, the water cache. Spare that water though. Now you can tell 'em all back home ya been to Desert Billy's waterin' hole!"

Be sure not to miss Desert Billy's Letterman Stationery web site.

Billy